*#$#&(&#^@##%!!!

First, I'll get the good news out of the way. My sister got the 2nd check today, from Mom's landlord. It was larger than I expected, and ecstatic that we're finally finished with those dunderheads! :)

Now, the day didn't start out too bad...well, the earliest part of it, anyway. LOL But, shortly after nine (when a co worker showed up), is when it started to go downhill. :p I may have mentioned before that we're short of help for a few days. Therefore, the full-time techs--well, at least me and another one--have been volunteering extra hours to fill in the gaps. Not to make the 3rd one feel left out, I asked if she would be willing to cover one day this weekend. All week, she's been hemming and hawing over whether she would do it--a whole 4 hours worth on Saturday. Yesterday, my impression that she would cover 4 hours--more if she cared to--on Saturday. But, just to make sure, I confirmed it with her this morning. She kept running over the top of her tongue with excuses, and even after I reminded her that she originally said she'd do it, I finally said, "Fine. I'll work the hours." She replies with, "Well, if you're sure...." AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! All I wanted was a simple yes or no at the beginning of the week, and she puts us through this song and dance every single time! Which is why I should know better than to even ask anymore. :( But, if I don't, then I get feedback, or later comments after the fact such as "gee, why didn't you ask me? I could've worked it". Again......AAARRRGGGHHH!

Then, this evening, Matthew has a meltdown at dinner, because I attempted to make him eat the crust of his grilled cheese sandwich. I know...I'm such a hardass. LOL The "threat" was, if you don't eat the rest of the sandwich, you don't get your bag of Doritos. Well, my goodness, you'd think we had asked him to eat his own fingers!! :o It didn't get too bad, until he threw the crust across the table! :o Then, he stormed off screaming "I'm so sick of this!" and slammed the door to his bedroom. Harumph! LOL

After he'd calmed down sufficiently, I suggested that since he didn't like the rules as we saw fit, that he should write up his own set of rules, and I would do the same. When we were done, we'd all read them together and come to a compromise. Note, that I said ALL--meaning the three of us (mom, dad, and son). Basically, it's just an expectation of duties and responsibilities in helping each other to keep the house orderly and what we expect in the area of meals and snacks, and the consequences thereof if things weren't done. (M's good for loading up on snacks and insisting that he hates pretty much hates everything I make, even though he's never eaten before).

Of course, M was done in a short order, while I took more time to word it properly and try to cover all the bases. ;) I was proud that he actually wrote down some of the same things that I did, but with a bit more of a 9 yr old's mind. LOL Naturally, my list of chores and consequences tended to be more geared toward M, but wanted to include all three of us, as to make it more equal and fair. But, of course, D decided I was taking too long and went to bed--even though I was printing mine out at the time he decides he can't wait any longer. :p

So, I sit M down at the table with my list (an agreement) to read, as I go back to the bedroom to try and roust D back out, so we can discuss this as a family. Mind you, I stayed quite calm and reasonable throughout this whole session. He doesn't see the need for him to go back out there "just because our son has an attitude problem, and is lazy". WTF?!!? So, I try to explain to him my point of view, that if EVERYONE helped around the house, it would lighten the load for all involved, everyone would know where each of us stands, and everyone (mainly me) would be happy campers. ;) So grumbling and whining all the way out, he's stuck on trying to explain one tiny issue I brought up, and making excuses why this particularly small thing hadn't been done previously. I'm trying to explain to him that that one tiny issue is just that--one small point in a much larger picture.

Oh, he doesn't have time for this crap, he's going to bed! :o Pardon me? So, he's dropping the ball on a unified family once again, because he thinks my idea is stupid, because he'd rather just complain about shit but not try to resolve the matter without verbal or physical abuse. :( It might have been petty, and in the heat of the moment, but I basically told him that if he wasn't willing, or didn't want, to be a part of this family, then he's welcome to leave at anytime. His response was, "Fine, I'll be gone in the morning." :(

Naturally, this made both M and I cry. It was said with such calm, that I'm not sure if he was being sarcastic or if he was serious. I apologized to M, and we dried our tears. He continued to read the agreement that I wrote up, and we talked about the one he wrote, and compromised on all of it. :) We both signed it, and left a space for Dad to sign it, too---just in case. I don't know if D will read it in the morning, nor whether or not he'll sign it--or if he really will leave and not come back. :(

M and I also talked about Dad some. He's a perceptive little thing and certainly not stupid as to what's going on around him. Of course, he's sad and hurt that Mom and Dad don't have the peachiest relationship. But, I think he's bright enough to roll with the punches if push comes to shove---bless his huge and sensitive little heart. :)

We also talked about why I would like and need some help around the house. Because we all work full-time jobs (M to school, and D & I to our respective careers), it's only fair that all three of us pitch in with the rest of the house and yard work, so that one person isn't responsible or overwhelmed with the whole job.

So, I ask you, is this too much to ask?! :(

And, you know what really bites? Is that the last couple of days, D and I have been having real conversations. Nothing earthshattering, but at least talking to each other more than we have been in months. And, now he pulls this crap--again. And, I don't even know what set him off. Just when I think we're on the same page, he flips to another chapter--or a whole different section of the library, for that matter. :( I'm pretty much done with trying to figure out what will make him happy and keep me sane at the same time. I don't know what he wants, and it's not for lack of asking. He either doesn't know himself, can't articulate it into words for whatever reason, or he's just afraid to tell me the truth.

I'm sure in his mind, it's all going to be my fault, one way or another. I've long ago accepted the fact that I'm not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be. Now, if he could do the same, we'd probably be much happier. :p